Why Do We Talk Ourselves Out of What We Know Is Right?

Why do we talk ourselves out of what we know is right?

In this episode of What’s the Universe Say About That?, we explore why we doubt our intuition and how to build deeper trust in our inner guidance.

We asked the Universe why we so often override our instincts, even when they feel clear. The answer revealed that what we experience as doubt is often the mind trying to protect us from the unfamiliar, even when it’s precisely the unfamiliar that holds our growth.

If you’ve been questioning your inner voice or hesitating to follow through on what feels right, this conversation offers clarity, reassurance, and a deeper understanding of what’s really happening.

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Transcript

Mary Obana

Have you ever talked yourself out of something that you know is good for you?

Mike Lannon

Why do we do that? Why don't we trust our own instincts?

Mary Obana

That's what we wanted to know, so we asked the universe.

Mike Lannon

Welcome to this episode of What's the Universe Say About That?

Mary Obana

I'm Mary Obana, and along with my husband Michael, we ask the universe for answers. You see, I'm blessed with this beautiful gift where I get quiet and I can connect with the loving guidance of the universe.

Mike Lannon

So today, you'll see and hear Mary connect directly to that divine guidance and hear the words of wisdom flow directly through her in response to questions about life and the challenges we all face at certain times.

Mary Obana

So welcome to our home.

Mike Lannon

And welcome to this now normal but always amazing part of our daily lives. So sit back, get ready, and let's hear what the universe has to say about that.

Mary Obana

Let's do it.

Hi there.

Mike Lannon

Hey, everybody. Today, we're going to talk about little mind games we play with ourselves.

And specifically, the question I wanted to ask is, why do we talk ourselves out of things?

Mary Obana

Yeah. So you mean like when you have this knowing that something's the right thing to do, but you talk yourself out of it anyway?

Mike Lannon

Yeah.

Mary Obana

Is that what you mean?

Mike Lannon

Yeah. And a lot of times, you might find or you might come to a conclusion like, this is definitely the right thing for me. But then you give yourself a little time and your mind starts percolating.

And pretty soon, hours or a day later, you either forget about it or you decide it's not the right thing for you. And even though deep inside, you know, it was direction. It was the right way to go.

Mary Obana

Yeah.

Mike Lannon

So why do we do that? Why do we talk ourselves out of things that deep inside we know is what we should do? Okay.

Mary Obana

It's a great question. One for the universe.

Mike Lannon

One for the universe.

Mary Obana

Okay. So let's go. Let's see what the universe has to say about that.

Okay. Here we go.

The Universe

Yes. This is an interesting question. And a question that is very self-aware. It is true that humans will know about something, get excited about something, know something is the right thing to do and be all, even gung-ho, as you say about it.

But with enough time, they can be talked out of it. What is it that you should know? Why is it that this happens?

Humans have a protective mechanism and the mind is very good at creating reasons of doubt and fear. People don't like to be wrong. People don't like to do something that isn't what they should.

People don't like to be disappointed. People don't like to fail. These otherwise protective instincts can also self-sabotage, keeping you from growth, keeping you from progress, keeping you from new challenges.

It is easier, you see, easier energetically to stay where you are. It is always easier to stay where you are. Even though you may not desire where you are, even though you may not want where you are, even though you may be seeking change, change is stepping into something unknown.

And the mind likes familiarity. The mind likes predictability. So the mind tells you to fear, to doubt.

It asks questions that makes you wonder, makes you reconsider. It is always easier to do nothing than to do something new. But you see, you have come to this human experience not to stay the same.

You have come to this human experience to grow, expand, be exposed to new things, to evolve, to improve your life. Every one of those things, evolving, expansion, improvement, all require some sort of change. Otherwise, you would stay the same.

But change by its very nature is uncomfortable, or it can be. If you give yourself enough time, you can talk yourself out of anything. When one understands that there's a force of love surrounding them, that they are here in the physical experience to evolve and grow in beautiful ways, you are introduced to circumstances that leave you desiring change.

And when the right opportunity or the invitation to something comes and deep within you, you know it is the right thing to do, you get excited, you can feel yourself energetically shifting. This is a moment to, as they say, lean into that energy. You see, there is a greater risk to doing nothing.

One typically desires change because there is something within their current circumstance that is unwanted. There is something that they want to be different. This desire for something different, whether it's feeling better, doing something unique, challenging yourself in new ways, this is why you are in the human experience.

To do nothing is to play small, to live a small life, and to live a life of and in a constant state of wanting. You want because you don't have something that you wish for. The only way to change what is, the only way to reach forward, the only way to ignite change, the only way to improve your circumstance, is to trust in that which is unknown.

But you see, one can focus their perspective on the fear of what is unknown, or we would like you to consider what is the cost of staying exactly where you are. The equation is not, will this be successful, will it not? The equation is, do I want to stay where I am or not?

This is the focus. This is where one must focus. You can always focus on that which is not understood.

Should I risk it? What if it's wrong? What if it's the wrong decision?

But you see, in that circumstance, there is always the opportunity for improvement. If you stay the same, if you do nothing, there is certainty of staying exactly where you are. There will be no improvement if you don't make a change.

What is the risk of that, we ask?

Mike Lannon

So, this is a difficult question, but I don't know if there's a simple answer, but how do we separate thoughts in our head and knowings, if that's a term, where that kind of one feels more central or directed and others just are ideas that pop in and out of your head. How do we how do we delineate between those?

The Universe

There's one sure way to tell. At one level, if you ever feel doubt, if you ever have a sense of fear, those typically come from the mind. Knowings, that feeling within you, that instinct, there's no room for fear, doubt.

It is just truth. The messages, the knowings that you feel deep within those that come from your divine guidance have a way of feeling true. It is not something that you arrive at through a long cogitation, you see.

It is something that is just so. The mind has a beautiful yet often tantalizing and potentially limiting way of introducing doubt, fear, judgment. What will people think?

What if I'm wrong? All the risks, all the discomfort associated with not being certain, the mind tells you. You see, the mind seeks certainty.

The mind seeks predictability. And so it works hard to rationalize, drawing on past experiences. The mind is always in the past.

The mind is always thinking about the uncertainty of the future. The knowing that lands that feeling of, I need to do this. This feels right.

These are not thoughts. These are that sense of what is true.

Mike Lannon

And that feels different.

The Universe

Because that which is true does not come with doubt or fear.

Mike Lannon

You can have ideas that sound great and you can get excited about them. But I've experienced the difference between a good idea in my head and a knowing, a deep knowing.

The Universe

And what does it feel like to you? How do you distinguish the difference?

Mike Lannon

It's like I can feel the energy of mind activity and it's often kind of frenetic and excited. Excitable. And then doubt, it's a whole combination of excitement and doubts and skepticism and all that.

And then a knowing feels like it comes, when we talk about gut instinct, it feels like it comes from the heart or the gut. And it doesn't go away where the thoughts can kind of come and go and get excited one day and not the next. But it stays with you and you just can't ignore it.

And it just feels, I don't know, more serious, more grounded, more deeper. It just feels deeper. Am I on the right track?

The Universe

Yes, because that which is within you, that knowing that each and every human has the ability to tap into, that is truth. There is an unwavering nature in truth. It is lasting, it is pure, it is so, you see.

That which is of the mind is temporary. It is at any moment movable. And when the energy of the mind becomes dominant, it can allow you to take that which is you know and that which is true and doubt it.

Mike Lannon

Gotcha.

The Universe

They feel different. They are of a different energy. But you see, if the mind is not controlled, if the mind is able to run amok, suddenly that knowing is overcome by the doubt, by the fear, by all the reasons why you shouldn't believe it.

One of the ways that can be very helpful to lock in that knowing is when you feel that feeling, those knowings, that sense that is true within you, write it down. Put it on paper. There is something objective that happens when you are able to do that.

And when you do it quickly, you are able to circumvent the intervention of the mind. Because without that step, often the things that you know to be true, the things you wish to move forward with, vanish as if they never were. Because the mind gives you every reason not to believe it.

When you write it down, it locks in that truth. And you are able to more objectively look at it and know that that is something that would be good for you. But the fundamental question that you asked is, why do humans talk themselves out of things?

Underneath it is always a fear of disappointment, judgment, feeling foolish. It is always safer, the mind tells you, to stay where you are. But the risk of staying where you are, if you do not like where you are, is that you will always be where you are.

If where you are is desirable, if where you are is joyful, if where you are is fulfilling, if where you are gives you peace, hallelujah, there's no need to change. But if where you are and what you see and how you feel is unwanted, then change is the only option to move out of that state that is less desirable. It is more risky to stay than to move to change.

Because even that movement to change, if it does not end up exactly as you hoped it would, within it there's a gem of learning, of growth, of understanding. It is something that is always there for you. It is still progress.

It is still supporting expansion. It is getting you off the mark of stagnation. You are never alone.

You are never alone. There's a force of love around you and within you. Trust this to be true. There's always something in every experience.

Mike Lannon

Thank you.

The Universe

It is always a delight to converse with you.

Mike Lannon

Wow. That was pretty cool. You know, I've been fortunate to have that experience of feeling that the difference between ideas in your head and knowing in your heart, intuition, whatever. I hope everyone has had that experience because otherwise it's hard to know what's what. But they are completely different energies and they come from a different place.

Yeah. That was helpful.

Mary Obana

But even if someone doesn't feel that certainty of what that is, there is like power in change.

Mike Lannon

Yeah. Yeah.

Mary Obana

You know, sometimes you can't always be certain about some decisions you make. But there is something about that. You know, if you want something different, you want to feel something different, I mean, that makes sense.

It's like you can always look at that thing that is an opportunity or whatever it might be that gets you excited. And you can say, let's do it. But then you start thinking about it and saying, let's not.

Because everything and all the energy is about what if this is wrong.

Mike Lannon

Yeah.

Mary Obana

When the whole reason you're even looking at that opportunity is because something is wrong with where you are.

Mike Lannon

Yeah.

Mary Obana

So then it's like, well, is the risk to, you know, is the risk greater to keep what I know is not wanted?

You know, it's kind of a funny thing.

Mike Lannon

Yeah. Yeah. And there's two sides of it. It's funny.

And just in that whole conversation, I come from a perspective of too many ideas. And then there's the other flip side of that coin is I'm stuck in one track. And so that message kind of talked to both of them.

It's moving people if they're just stuck in kind of one mode and they don't want to be there. That gets this message kind of helps them see a way out or reason to get out. And then for the person who's kind of just got lots of kind of ideas and the challenges is knowing where those ideas come from.

They're kind of two different scenarios. So, but that was helpful. That was helpful.

Mary Obana

Well, I hope it was helpful for you because that's why we do this. That's why we do this.

Mike Lannon

So, well, thank you for joining us and, uh, more to come.

Mary Obana

Yeah.

Mike Lannon

Yeah.

Mary Obana

More to come.

Mike Lannon

All right.

Mary Obana

Exactly.

Mike Lannon

See you later.

Mary Obana

Thanks for joining us.

Mike Lannon

Bye bye.

Mary Obana

Take it easy.