When Life Feels Out of Balance, Part 2

This episode is part two of our conversation on balance, getting to the heart of why our lives become unbalanced and how to find our way back.

Our first show on balance left us wanting more. So in this episode of What’s the Universe Say About That?, we ask the Universe to dive deeper and explain the root cause of why so many of us make choices that throw our lives off balance and spread our limited energy too thin.

If you’ve ever wondered how your life gets so overwhelming at times, yearned for things to feel less hectic, or wished you could finally feel in charge of your life—instead of at the mercy of events, calendars, and commitments—this episode offers the clarity and direction you need to bring more peace and joy into even the busiest of lives.

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Transcript

Mary Obana

(0:00) In the last episode, we asked the universe about balance, but we had more questions.

Michael Lannon

(0:06) So today, we're going to do a part two on balance and probe deeper into how to find that sense of balance in our lives.

Mary Obana

(0:14) Welcome to this episode of What's the Universe Say About That? 

(0:21) I'm Mary Obana, and along with my husband, Michael, we ask the universe for answers. You see, I'm blessed with this beautiful gift where I get quiet and I can connect with the loving guidance of the universe.

Michael Lannon

(0:35) So today, you'll see and hear Mary connect directly to that divine guidance and hear the words of wisdom flow directly through her in response to questions about life and the challenges we all face at certain times. 

Mary Obana

(0:49) So welcome to our home 

Michael Lannon

and welcome to this now normal, but always amazing part of our daily lives. So sit back, get ready, and let's hear what the universe has to say about that.

Mary Obana

(1:01) Let's do it.

Welcome back.

Michael Lannon

(1:03) Hey, everybody. In a previous episode, we asked the question about balance, how to find balance and what it means. And I think that's something a lot of people struggle with.

And one of the comments I made at the end was I could have let that thing go another hour and a half, that message, the wisdom. It was just, it left me with more questions and I just couldn't let it go. So I wanted to follow up, if you haven't seen that one, watch Balance Number One.

This is Balance Number Two. And I wanted to follow up with more questions and more specifics. It just kind of left me, I need more.

So the question I have today is to follow up on that one, which was balance is peace. How do we find that peace and balance in the midst of our crazy lives? So, all right.

Mary Obana

(2:05) All right. Let's do it. 

Here we go.

Michael Lannon

(2:08) Okay. We're knocking on the door again. 

Mary Obana

(2:11) All right.

The Universe

(2:21) It's good to be back and to discuss this subject in greater detail. We appreciate you, Michael, for scratching the itch, as it said, for following up as you do. Peace and balance.

The ultimate peace comes from being in alignment with who you are, focusing your energy on that which is most important for you. Many people find themselves doing and taking on a great many activities without understanding necessarily what is most important for them. You see, the reason why many people end up in situations where they feel overwhelmed with so many responsibilities is that they are not honoring their own needs and instead are prioritizing others, more specifically, pleasing others.

People can feel a sense of overwhelm when they have said yes to too many things. It's a beautiful thing to want to give of yourself, to help, to pitch in, but often those that are most overwhelmed can feel that they have taken on perhaps too much, said yes perhaps too many times, to more than they could truly give while feeling good. You see, understanding what you need to be at your best allows you to honor that.

(5:13) Peace comes from understanding what it is you need to be in that place where you are focused on that which is truly most important to you. This doesn't mean that you don't care about other activities or causes, but it is okay to honor yourself in being honest with others. Peace starts with reconnecting with yourself to understand what it is that is most important for you and what is in your highest good, both, not one or the other.

Focusing on that which is in your highest good helps you navigate through the invitations to do so much, but it starts with understanding yourself. How do you use your gifts? Where are you to be putting your love?

When you are operating, focusing, living in alignment with that, it feels good because you don't have competing mental interests. Let us be more specific. Often, the angst from having so much comes from thoughts that you later understand or feelings that say, why am I even doing this?

You see, understanding what it is that is most important for you, where you are uniquely able to provide what it is you uniquely can, focus on that which is of greatest importance, and everything can seem important, and it doesn't mean that it is unimportant as an effort or activity or whatever that might be. It's more that you understand what it is important for you. It's as if you are creating your own rules of engagement.

(8:23) Where do I want to prioritize my energy? Once you deliberately and intentionally understand this, then it becomes easier to evaluate other things that come your way to determine whether it's in alignment with that or not. If it's in alignment, then the answer is yes.

If it's out of alignment, then the answer is no, even as valuable as that other thing might be. For you, it is not the time, and it is okay for you to express that with honesty. 

Right now, I have other things that I have on my plate, and I just can't give the energy to this that it requires and deserves, so no, but thank you for thinking about me.

So it all starts with that understanding of what's important. Then it becomes easier to discern and determine what it is you take on, and then once you are in that place, you exercise self-compassion and grace. Doing the best you can is enough.

Does this help?

Michael Lannon

(10:09) That's exactly the kind of the next step that I needed to hear. It's that I think people, we, me, can get ourselves into trouble in an effort to please. That's that people-pleasing kind of gene, and we overextend.

What is that people-pleasing all about? Because it feels, if you say no, you're disappointing others or you're not pleasing others.

The Universe

(10:49) People-pleasing is an interesting subject unto itself, but ultimately, the reason people say yes to others when they don't want to is they are afraid of something, afraid of not being liked, afraid of what might happen if I say no. There's a fear that is at the root of people-pleasing. If you understand that we are afraid of something. 

You see, often people think that people-pleasing is out of love. I want to do it because it's an altruistic gesture or it is something that I am honoring that other person, whatever it might be, that invitation, that opportunity, that whatever comes your way. But the true motivation, if you are genuinely people-pleasing, that means you are saying yes when you really don't want to. The energy that is at the root of people-pleasing in that situation is fear, guilt.

(12:27) So all these decisions are being made not out of a higher energy, but a lower energy. So this is also a good check for people, aside from them making sure that it is in alignment with what is most important to you, also having that consciousness and awareness to understand what is going on within you, what's the feeling that is being evoked within you when you are in that situation. Coming and becoming in alignment with your understanding of yourself helps you navigate those things.

(13:22) Then, if you determine it is fear that is at the root, you must understand you can never, ever control what other people think of you. There is so much more involved than you can know. When you are able to honor yourself, it allows you to say no without fear because you are honoring yourself.

(14:08) And through that comes confidence. You can, as we suggested previously, articulate, I would like to, but I can't. I have so many things going on right now that just wouldn't enable me to be as focused as I would want to be if I were to do that.

(14:35) People respect that because it's coming from an energy of truth and honesty and love. People feel that energy, whether you say it or not. People-pleasing, understanding what is at the root of it for you liberates you to return your attention and focus on that which is true for you, and then to be able to respond to that invitation with honesty.

Michael Lannon

(15:29) That's clear. Thank you. I think we'll probably come back to people-pleasing in the future, but that was, that's fantastic for understanding balance, literally to the script you give, how to say no. Thank you. 

(15:57) That was really good, had a cherry on the sundae for that people-pleasing part is the, is where I think is where people get in trouble. So that was the missing element from finding balance is so much of this comes down to fear.

(16:22) You know, so much, even when we don't realize it, even when we think we're doing what we should or what's good, we peel back a layer and it gets into your real motivation, the root cause.

Mary Obana

(16:37) And you also realize what a gift it is to have that clarity, the self-clarity, because when you have that self-clarity, everything stems from that.

Michael Lannon

(16:50) Yeah. 

Mary Obana

(16:52) And fear doesn't come into play when you have that self-clarity and then you can be honest.

Michael Lannon

(16:58) Yeah. (16:59) That was good.

Mary Obana

(16:59) Good. 

Well, I hope that connected for you too.

Michael Lannon

(17:03) Yeah. So, I thank you for your patience, able to ask multiple questions here. So we'll have plenty more.

Mary Obana

(17:11) So good.

Michael Lannon

(17:12) Thank you guys. It's good to see you again and hope to see you soon.

Mary Obana

(17:15) See you next time. Bye. Bye.