Why Do Some Things Push My Buttons So Strongly?

Ever wonder why certain moments—or someone’s small comment—can spark such a strong reaction in you? You might think that’s just how you’re “wired,” but what if it’s something else?

In this episode of What’s the Universe Say About That?, Mary and Michael ask the Universe to shed light on the hidden emotional triggers that unconsciously shape our lives and reactions. You’ll learn how your body holds memories and emotions—and the most important thing you need to know to reclaim a greater sense of peace and strength.

Questions or comments for Mike and Mary?
Email them at: WhatsTheUniverseSay@gmail.com

To learn more about Mike and Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To arrange a private reading with Mary to receive the guidance the Universe has for you, visit:
maryobana.com/private-readings

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

00:00:00

Michael Lannon:

Do you have some things that just set you off? Are there hidden emotions or stories that you've stored deep down that may be secretly controlling your life?

00:00:12

Mary Obana: 

We wanted to know the answer so we asked the universe. 

00:00:16

Michael Lannon: 

Welcome to this episode of What's the Universe Say about That?

00:00:23

Mary Obana:

I'm Mary Obana and along with my husband Michael we ask the universe for answers. You see I'm blessed with this beautiful gift where I get quiet and I can connect with the loving guidance of the universe.

00:00:36

Michael Lannon:

So today, you'll see and hear Mary connect directly to that divine guidance and hear the words of wisdom flow directly through her in response to questions about life and the challenges we all face at certain times

00:00:50

Mary Obana:

So welcome to our home

00:00:52

Michael Lannon:

and welcome to this now normal but always amazing part of our daily lives. So sit back get ready and let's hear what the universe has to say about that.

00:01:03 

Mary Obana:

Let's do it!

00:01:04 

Michael Lannon:

Welcome back everybody

00:01:06

Mary Obana:

hello!

00:01:07

Michael Lannon:

This is our first part 2 episode we've ever done. If you saw the last episode, we talked about how to manage or think about — I guess thinking is the problem! — but think about a busy mind and what you can do to calm a busy mind. One of the points that came out was that thoughts are of the mind, but feelings and emotions are energy that's stored in the body. And how do you clear that stuff out? How do you manage that stuff? So I thought that's what we'd talk about, follow up. You know this is the first time I've ever asked a question, and the universe said 

00:01:47

Mary Obana:

Let's cover that separately! 

00:01:48 

Michael Lannon:

Yeah exactly

00:01:50

Mary Obana:

Too big of a concept

00:01:51

Michael Lannon:

I have a feeling it’s a big enough question on its own! So specifically, how do we manage hidden, unknown, unseen feelings and emotions that are storing that energy, maybe blocking you, holding you back, or frustrating you? How do we manage and maybe clear that stuff out of our body? How do we think about it?

00:02:17

Mary Obana:

Okay great. Well, we don't know the answer

00:02:20

Michael Lannon:

So I'd like to hear.  I need help on this one, so

00:02:21

Mary Obana

Let's ask the universe. Alright, that's fabulous. Here we go.

00:02:38

Guidance of the Universe:

It is good to be back. And we are delighted to answer this question and glad that we have devoted time to address such a question. 

Yes, it is true that the thoughts that you hold in your mind create stories that generate emotion — feelings. And while the thoughts can be released more easily, the emotions and the energy stored within the body are harder to let go of. This is why, when something happens, you can feel a very strong innate reaction to it. When you are reacting to something so strongly — some people call it being triggered — that is a function and a telltale sign that there are emotions that are stored deep within you.

00:04:02

To live a life of ultimate peace, one must become aware of those things that trigger a response. If you look at your life objectively and your experiences objectively, and even more the reactions you have to certain circumstances… perhaps it's something someone says that makes you feel a certain way, things like feelings of unworthiness, a lack of importance, loneliness, fear… some of these things that are a function of the circumstances you have faced. The mind has a clever way of making sense of that circumstance. 

00:05:21

You see, you humans create stories to make sense of that which you have been met with and those stories are the things that generate the feeling, the emotion. Those are the things that are stored. The body has a great memory. So to live a life without those unwanted feelings, the feelings that the mind can tell you you have let go of, yet the feelings that seem to continue to resurface in just the right circumstance

The life of peace that is available to every human being requires, amongst other things, but most notably in this discussion, it requires an understanding of that which is buried within you. Because once you understand, see, observe, acknowledge that which you have within you, the work then begins to release it.

00:07:00

You see, the mind is beautiful. As we discussed before, it helps you make sense of things. But sometimes the things that have been made sense of, the storyline that has enabled you to understand what is happening, is not always based in truth. That storyline that has been created is often not true, and so while at some point, perhaps at a young age, you experienced a circumstance and you were able to make sense of it through some thoughts that created the feelings. And then as the mind does it reconnects things, recognizes things. This is how those emotions get more deeply entrenched within you. You recognize or associate patterns, and you then turn what is one explanation for one circumstance into what you believe is a truth about you. It is this truth that you have created. This “truth” we say is what you think is true, which creates that feeling. And soon, you don't even need the mind to make the connections. Soon, the body reacts completely on its own.

00:09:16

To come to terms, to release the feelings that come when those buttons are pushed, it is easy for the mind to immediately point the finger to the one who made you feel this way — blame, disappointment, this person hurt me, this person doesn't love me, this person must think poorly of me. 

Again, the mind is trying to make sense in that instance of what is happening. But those deep-seated initial emotions were created often by a very young mind. However, as you age, those emotions remain true even though they make no sense truly to the circumstance that is and to the life that you have and to the person you are. But yet the reaction from the body, the emotions that are deeply seated within you, emerge. So the truth is, the feelings you often have, 

Those unwanted feelings of hurt and disappointment that you feel as an adult, that you react so quickly to, are often a function of the meaning you have associated with that situation, the meaning you have assigned to that situation, the meaning that has been informed by the pain and hurt that is stored deep within you.

And so why is this important to understand? Because the relationships in your life, the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about others, you are best served to engage in those relationships and feel for yourself — that which is true, not that which has been created by the narrative you have become so deeply connected with. You do not need to have this pain to carry this pain. But, it must begin with an understanding, an acknowledgment. It must begin with an awareness, a consciousness of what is being experienced.

00:13:27

So just as we discussed before about the importance of having that objectivity, you are not your mind. Being able to see what it is that is happening based on what it is you are feeling — the same is true with the emotions that are stirred up, the patterns that you see repeating again and again and again. 

For you to live without that pain, it is not enough to think it away. You must find a way to feel it away. When you are able to find and feel the emotion of not having that triggered reaction, that raw emotion, when you can feel what it feels like to live without it, your body starts to understand a new path. The neural pathways that are discussed often run through your entire body. It is not just the mind that creates these pathways. The body has its own pathways. The pain that is stored within the body must be acknowledged, understood, and only then can it be addressed. 

There are many methods for this releasing of this emotion that is stored deep within you. There are many ways; it all depends upon the individual and what works for them, but it all begins with an understanding that it is so. 

We ask that when you react so innately, so strongly emotionally to something, and that feeling that you feel is something that you have felt many times before, let this be… let this be a message to you that it is something to be understood because it can be. And the peace that you seek and the one that is available to each and every one of you must start with the truth of the emotion that is stored within you.

00:17:29

Michael Lannon:

That's incredibly powerful. Profound. And especially for me. What you just described is exactly the process that I’ve gone through. It’s really, really hard because these things are so innate. These reactions are so wired, hardwired into your body, it feels like it's you, and there's tremendous resistance to get in there and start unplugging things. 

You said you can't think it away. How do you overcome that resistance of wanting to… your body wants to fall back into the habit that it's known its whole life, for many, many years?

00:18:28

Guidance of the Universe:

This is where the mind is helpful. You see, when you are able through this objectivity and consciousness to recognize this that is within you — that which is felt, that which is unwanted. Start with understanding that it was something that came originally to help you, to make sense of something. But that thought, that explanation, that story, was just a story. When you come to understand that the feelings that are most painful for you, that feeling that you feel and have felt throughout your life, again and again. 

When you think for a moment, “Wait, that may not be true. That person that I care for so deeply… wait, they may not feel the way I think they are feeling toward me. What I am experiencing may not be anything but an illusion.”

Once you open the door to this possibility, it actually becomes less painful because you begin to disassociate the feeling and come to an understanding. That little opening that opens a door to the possibility that, “Wait a second, I've just attached a story because I feel some way.” Let's say unworthy, unloved, unimportant, unwanted… whatever that feeling is. If you consider for a moment that, “Wait a second, this person loves me. This person doesn't think I'm unworthy. This person doesn't think I don't matter. This person doesn't think I'm not important. This person doesn't think I have no value. Wait, what?” 

00:22:00

You see, this enables you to look at that more objectively, and this is good news. So while it is painful to go toward and open the door to those feelings that seem to recur, once you consider that those feelings you have are not a reflection of what is actually true, that’s good news. Because those feelings you have that make you feel so bad, they’re never because of good thoughts; they're always because of negative ones.

Once you understand or consider that those negative thoughts that you have associated, attached, to a circumstance, a situation, a person's feelings toward you may not be true, this is good news. 

So the idea of opening the door to that pain you have buried so deeply, you don't even know it's something that exists, you don't even know the feelings you have are associated with something, you don't even make that connection. You simply associate what is happening in that moment with the other as being a reflection of something that when you look closely has been something you have felt before. It is painful to go to those feelings, but the beautiful thing about this process is that you are going to those feelings to understand them because you don't want to live with them anymore. It is the beginning of the healing, the beginning of the peace.

00:24:36

Michael Lannon:

Amen. Thank you.

00:24:41

Guidance of the Universe

You see, each of you, each and every one of you, has peace available to you. You do not need to live with feelings of anything unwanted. Again, it does not mean you don't have moments of pain and anger and anguish; it means that you are dealing and engaging with the moment in front of you for the moment that it is, not the moment that has been informed by a whole slew of past stories that are then defining the experience of the moment that is.

Moments happen, circumstances happen, unwanted things happen. But being able to see them for the truth that they are, for what they are, and not attaching untrue things to them makes all the difference in the world because you are able to move from one moment to the next without carrying with you the story that has burdened your life.

00:26:34

Michael Lannon:

Thank you.

00:26:37

Guidance of the Universe:

We hope this has been helpful.

00:26:39

Michael Lannon:

Very much so. 

00:26:42

Guidance of the Universe:

Thank you.

00:26:56

Michael Lannon:

That one kind of spoke directly to the experience that I've gone through. So true. You know one thing that to add a finer point to the message, you hear especially nowadays in the news everyone's talking about truth. 

00:27:18

Mary Obana:

Uh huh 

00:27:19

Michael Lannon

That message was a message of truth, what's true. And the thing that I learned in this process that I've gone through of opening the door is the first, the first kind of decision that your mind wants to make is, well, what happened in the past was it true or not? And part of this idea of separating yourself from these unwanted feelings, thoughts, and things. The truth — this is not my experience but I just wanna I just wanna explain this —is let's just say you had a bad situation I don’t I don't wanna pick a specific situation but let's just say you had a bad situation growing up and it's triggered you the rest of your life or it's been buried deep within you. The rest of your life, when you start to open that door, one of the first questions or things you go through is, 'Well, did it happen or not?' And if it happened, let’s just say the facts, the circumstance, the moment actually did happen, then it kind of justifies well that's why I had that story and that's why I have those feelings. But when the universe is talking about “truth,” it's going even beyond that.

The circumstance may have happened; let’s just say you thought someone didn't love you because of the way they acted. They may not have loved you in a way that you thought they should, but that didn't mean that love was not there, and so the truth, I mean, they could be a very flawed individual themselves

00:29:12

Mary Obana:

We all are

00:29:14

Michael Lannon

We all are. So, that truth goes deeper than just the circumstance.

00:29:23

Mary Obana:

Oh, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. I think what — if I understand you — I think what you're saying is that when you go to that let's say circumstance, you actually see it slightly differently because you're able to more objectively understand. Let’s say…

00:29:48

Michael Lannon:

Or open the possibility of it

00:29:49

Mary Obana:

Right, I see what you're saying, yeah. So that whole original experience takes on a little bit of a different thing because you suddenly say, “Wait, I thought that was because she didn't love me or she whatever, but in fact maybe that was just not love in the way that I would have liked to have received it but that didn't mean she didn't love me and that alone makes you think about the relationship or the situation or whatever more differently.

00:30:21

Michael Lannon:

There was a whole part of that message which was consider the possibility of something else that you would never consider. So even though the circumstance may have happened, and you can't talk yourself out of it like that bad thing didn't happen. It may have happened.

00:30:41

Mary Obana:

But your adult lens can actually get past that

00:30:45

Michael Lannon:

And look at it and say, even though it may have happened, there are things possibly that I couldn't see, couldn’t understand at that time, and then you just kind of bury that stuff. So, what I found was that it was more than just whether bad things happened or not. It’s like even if they did, so much of the messaging we get is that there's so much we can't see. And understand the purpose of it, and there's value in everything, as painful as some of the stuff is, there's value in it, and that may have been the real meaning behind it all.

00:31:29

Mary Obana:

That's very insightful. Very interesting.

00:31:33

Michael Lannon:

Well, good for me!

00:31:34

Mary Obana:

Yay you!

00:31:35

Michael Lannon:

haha ha ha

I'm not the one supposed to be insightful here. It’s coming from there, but it's just more my experience. This one was definitely… 

You know I can speak as customer one… what came out of that is exactly true. Opening that door is the first step, and it just naturally evolves from there. So tough stuff, but really, really valuable, yeah. 

00:32:04

Mary Obana:

All right, wonderful.

00:32:05

Michael Lannon:

That was like a… that was like a therapy session or something. Counseling!

00:32:10

Mary Obana:

They often are!

00:32:13

Michael Lannon:

So anyway, that’s it, so that was part 2! We'll go back to our regular scheduled programming next week!

00:32:20

Mary Obana:

Have a great week! 

Michael Lannon:

We got lots of good stuff, so good to see you

Mary Obana:

Take it easy